Time is the great healer of grief. Loss is one experience we have all had and come out of with either emotional scars or a new understanding.

Loss of someone or something we are very much attached to - or even an expectation - can cause grief. When we know the loss is inevitable, as in the case of a terminal disease, the final event, although a relief in some ways, can leave us at a loss, immobile, lonely or perhaps even angry. Children are confused and their behavior changes. Some will stop eating and drinking, as did Jenny Grove in the famous ballad “Barbara Allen.”

The concern and discomfort of those left behind arises from many factors having to do with our bonds in this physical world. For instance, we have hugged and touched each other. Every touch, according to the Kahunas of Hawaii has left a thread. These threads are all withdrawn at death, leaving an empty feeling, as we no longer have them in our energy field. Everyone is aware of emotional bonds, which attach us not only to people but places, things and expectations. The more strongly we are attached to these, the greater the jolt at the loss. Some people naturally rally and are inspired to rectify, organize, write or create after loss, but others need outside help.

Our loved ones would not like to see us go into a deep depression when they die. And separating parents do not like to see their children’s personalities change and ailments appear when the family suffers loss. Alternative medicine offers answers to relieve emotional stress and bring inner stability in these situations. Homeopathy, flower remedies and neuro-linguistic programming are a few of the helpful approaches for handling the inner states of loss.

The initial reaction to loss is usually shock. The Bach flower remedy Rescue Remedy brings us quickly to a more stable state. Some people carry it with them everywhere. Star of Bethlehem is for any trauma, physical, or emotional. Dr. Bach described it as “the comforter and soother of pains and sorrows.”

After the first shock, comes a parade of other emotions, or sometimes just an inner numbness or emptiness. Homeopathy can get one back on track. Ignatia is the first one thought of for everyone after a loss. Aurum, which is gold, was said to be the remedy needed for those who committed suicide after losing fortunes in the Great Depression. Our cat stopped eating when her mentor, an older cat, died. After three days of not eating or drinking, just moping, she got a dose of Aurum. Within seconds, she regained her appetite.

Another reaction to loss is anger. Even though is seems unreasonable to blame someone for dying, it does happen. More often it happens in divorce. When the woman is the victim of this misunderstanding, she may generalize to all men. Although Natrum muriaticum can alleviate the physical symptoms, the deeply held anger must be cured by a more global outlook and inner work.

It is important for those stuck on an unpleasant image of their loved one at or near death to replace it with images from happier times showing the valuable qualities and resourcefulness of this person. Some people do this automatically, but others have a hard time getting away from macabre images of the end. Steve Andreas has described on his Web site - steveandreas.com/grief02.html - a pattern that enables one to have these happier images of the loved one as though they were still around.

There are many Web sites that have accounts of near-death experiences that can bring a new light to those whose beliefs are very materialistic or down to earth. One is: http://www.near-death.com. Suggested reading on this site: the experience of Lynnclaire Dennis.

Our attachments bring grief as we gain and lose throughout life. Always look for the gain. It may be a valuable lesson or an opportunity to become more compassionate and forbearing. Drugs mask the problem. Homeopathic and flower remedies help our evolution by dissolving negativity.