Don’t dance on tables at the office Christmas party and resist the temptation to photocopy body parts in a drunken attempt to amuse colleagues.

That is the message from Britain’s Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents (RoSPA), which joined trade unions on Friday to issue guidelines on how to host a safe and successful office party.

“Resist the temptation to photocopy parts of your anatomy,” RoSPA and the Trades Union Congress (TUC) said. “If the copier breaks, you’ll have Christmas with glass in painful places.”

“Dancing on desks could do them and you a lot of damage,” they said. “Likewise, the boardroom table is meant for weighty documents, not overweight executives.”

Candles, flaming Christmas puddings and cigarettes should be avoided at all costs.

Stepladders, not swivel chairs, should be used to hang tinsel and mistletoe, which should not be hung near sources of heat.

“Keep a close eye on those who may drink too much,” the organizations advised. “Alcohol makes some people aggressive rather than friendly. The party will be spoiled if it ends in a punch-up or harassment complaint.”

RoSPA and the TUC were condemned by some as killjoys but said they were only trying to help.

“We are not being party poopers,” RoSPA Occupational Safety Adviser Roger Bibbings said.

“Some sensible safety precautions will allow people to have a great office celebration without having to call in the emergency services.”