Most IVF parents plan to tell kids: survey
The majority of parents who conceived through assisted reproduction plan to tell their children about their conception, but they’re often uncertain how to go about it, a UK survey suggests.
The study included couples who had conceived using their own eggs and sperm, with the help of either conventional in vitro fertilization (IVF) or intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI).
In traditional IVF, a woman’s egg is fertilized with sperm in a lab dish, then implanted in her uterus a few days later. ICSI is a newer form of IVF that may be used when there is a problem with the number, quality or function of a man’s sperm; it involves injecting a single sperm directly into an egg, which increases the chances it will be successfully fertilized.
In the new study, researchers found that among parents of 181 5- and 6-year-olds who had been conceived through standard IVF or ICSI, most either planned to tell their children about their conception or had already done so.
Overall, 16 percent of mothers and 21 percent of fathers were undecided about the issue, while a handful of fathers - but no mothers - said they would never tell their children about their conception.
The survey also found that while most parents wanted to tell their children about their conception, there was some uncertainty about when and how to broach the topic. The large majority of parents who planned on telling their children said they would like the help of some “child-friendly” literature.
And about one-third of undecided parents said that such information would sway them to tell their children about their conception.
Dr. Alastair Sutcliffe, a senior lecturer in pediatrics at University College London, and his colleagues report the findings in the journal Fertility and Sterility.
According to Sutcliffe, it’s best for parents who undergo assisted reproduction to tell their children about it. One key reason is that it’s not yet clear whether the procedures could affect children’s future health, including their own fertility. So it’s appropriate for them to be fully informed about their conception, Sutcliffe asserts.
He and his colleagues have developed a booklet, “How to Make a Family,” designed to help parents talk with their children about the topic.
According to Sutcliffe, even young children can grasp seemingly complex issues if they’re framed in simple language. When information is shared with children at an early age, he says, they can more readily accept it as a “normal” part of their lives.
Evidence from adoption studies, Sutcliffe and his colleagues note in their report, suggests that telling children about their origins early in life aids in their sense of identity and general well-being later on.
Among parents in the current study, one-quarter of mothers and 17 percent of fathers had already told their children about their conception - when the children were between the ages of 3 and 4, on average. Parents who planned on discussing the subject in the future generally thought they would wait until their children were 8 to 10 years old.
Parents who were undecided gave a number of reasons - including concern that their children would feel different from their friends or naturally conceived siblings, or that their children would tell other people. Some thought the discussion should wait until they spoke with their children about sex in general.
Fertility clinics, Sutcliffe and his colleagues suggest, could potentially help parents work out these issues by offering pre-treatment counseling or other forms of support.
SOURCE: Fertility and Sterility, April 2005.
Revision date: July 8, 2011
Last revised: by Sebastian Scheller, MD, ScD