Although support from family and friends is important for women battling breast cancer, support that comes in unwanted ways may do more harm than good, research suggests.

The study of 79 women who had been treated for breast cancer found that when a woman received unwanted forms of support she was more likely to have a tough time adjusting psychologically to her disease.

The findings show that it’s important for breast cancer patients to let their families know what kind of support they need, according to lead study author Dr. Julie S. Reynolds of the Oregon Health & Science University in Portland.

This discussion, she told Reuters Health, might best take place in a “neutral setting” with the help of a professional counselor.

Reynolds was a postdoctoral fellow at the Kaiser Permanente Center for Health Research in Portland at the time of the study. She and colleague Dr. Nancy A. Perrin report the findings in the journal Health Psychology.

Women in the study were asked about the types of social support they had or hadn’t received in dealing with their breast cancer, as well as the forms of support they had or had not wanted. They also answered questions on cancer-related problems they’d faced on a day-to-day basis - including psychological symptoms, difficulties at work and relationship problems.

The researchers found that while the women generally received the types of support they wanted, with their husbands or partners being the main source in most cases, there were reports of unwanted support. And the more of this a woman received, the more difficulty she had adjusting to having breast cancer.

The study also showed that the 79 women varied widely in the types of support they wanted. There were, however, four general patterns, according to Reynolds and Perrin.

Some women wanted a good deal of support, mostly centered on the idea that “things would be okay.” Others wanted to “act normal,” and named many forms of support they did not want. A third group wanted to receive facts, information and advice on how to deal with their cancer, while some women wanted to talk about the disease but had no desire for advice.

No one preference was related to better adjustment, the researchers found. Instead, what mattered was whether women got support they did not want. “On the bright side,” Reynolds said, “women in this study mostly got the support they wanted.”

Spouses and other family members, she added, seemed to generally figure out what they could do to be helpful.

Still, Reynolds said she thinks it might be best if there’s an explicit discussion, aided by a counselor, about what type of support a woman wants.

“Otherwise,” she explained, “it becomes a trial-and-error process, with the potential for misunderstanding and hurt feelings during a time when the woman could benefit from support that matches her needs.”

SOURCE: Health Psychology, July 2004.