Besides the potential for medical benefits, an early diagnosis will give your parent a chance to indicate preferences for the future - choices about treatments, possible participation in research trials, end-of-life care. If a diagnosis comes too late, your parent may be too impaired to participate in these decisions, Kennedy says.

But broaching the subject is not going to be easy, no matter how well you handle it. You can’t try to hide your true suspicions by suggesting a visit to the doctor to be checked for something else, like tonsillitis, Davis says. On the other hand, you don’t have to scare your parent by describing the terrible consequences that could result from a delay in diagnosis.

The fact is, the instant you raise the possibility of Alzheimer’s, your parent is going to get really scared without any additional help from you, Davis says. Your goal is to allay that fear, not make it worse. So try to act as calm as possible yourself, regardless of how upset you feel inside.

In the best-case scenario, your parent could admit to noticing problems too, Burns says, “and that can open the door.”

If, instead, your parent jumps to the conclusion that he definitely has Alzheimer’s and the situation is hopeless, stress that it’s too soon to go there - but even if it is Alzheimer’s, there are medications that can help.

Your overall goal should be to keep your parent as calm as possible until you know more, Davis advises. “Say, ‘Look, this could be nothing. I just think we should see a doctor to be safe.’”

The “we” may be the most important word you say. Make it very clear that your parent won’t be alone. You’ll be there too.

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By Karen Ravn,
Los Angeles Times