Increased openness and a willingness to discuss sexual abuse by adult women and men as well as the development of service support networks has led to greater community understanding.

In recent years male and female survivors of child sexual abuse have spoken out about their experiences. Healthcare professionals have learnt a great deal about child sexual abuse and its effects from hearing these stories.

Family life and sexual abuse
In telling their stories, many adult survivors have found common factors in their family life:

  * They were usually abused by someone they knew
  * The abuse often started when they were very young
  * The abuse was not an isolated one-off incident and happened over many months or years
  * The abuse was often accompanied by physical violence.

Fear stops children from seeking help
Most women and men were too scared to report the abuse while they were children. Their reasons for being afraid included:

  * Their abuser might have threatened to kill them and other family members if they told anyone about the abuse
  * They felt that there was no one they could trust to talk to
  * They didn’t think that anyone would believe them
  * They feared they would be taken away from home
  * They thought that they might lose their mother if she knew.

Common misunderstandings
There are many misunderstandings which surround the sexual abuse of boys and girls. Some of these include:

  * Children fantasise and lie about sexual abuse. This is not true, children rarely lie or imagine sexual abuse.
  * Males who have been abused grow up to become abusers. The research does not show this to be true.
  * Males will become homosexual because of the abuse. Again, the research does not support this.
  * It’s only dirty old men or homosexual men who abuse. Most abusers are heterosexual males from all sorts of socio-economic backgrounds.
  * Child sexual abuse is harmless. This is not true - children display significant problems including aggressive behaviour, depression, social withdrawal and emotional problems. The longer the abuse goes on for, the greater the long term problems will be.
  * Children provoke the abuse and enjoy it. This is not true; the abuser has often told these lies to their victims.

Talking with children about sexual abuse
The main message from survivors is about the importance of paying attention to children’s behaviour. If they appear to be under stress, encourage them to talk. Children will often tell little bits of information at a time to test reactions of adults.

To help a child who is being abused to speak up about it, it’s important to:

  * Have open discussions about sex and abuse to help overcome the secrecy which surrounds sexual abuse
  * Develop a child’s trust to encourage them to talk
  * Make sure that a child knows that they will be believed
  * Make sure a child hears that sexual abuse is never a child’s fault.

Recovering from child abuse
Survivors of sexual abuse usually need professional help to recover. They often report that:

  * Centres Against Sexual Abuse are useful for short term counselling
  * Support groups are very valuable
  * Counsellors who do not have specialist training in sexual abuse are little help.

Where to get help

  * Child Protection Service to report child abuse
  * Police for reporting the adult
  * Centres Against Sexual Assault (for support and counseling)
  * Domestic Violence and Incest Resource Centre (for support)

Things to remember

  * Children are not responsible for abuse
  * Sexual abuse is a crime
  * Children often tell about the abuse a little at a time
  * It is very common for survivors to repress memories of abuse
  * Sexual abuse happens to boys and girls
  * Children cannot stop abuse on their own.

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Source: Department of Human Services