As a parent who is not the abuser, you can have an important role in helping your child recover from sexual abuse. This information takes a brief look at ways to help your child and yourself through this difficult experience.

Helping your child recover from abuse
Your role in helping your child recover is crucial. They will need your ongoing support, belief and protection. It will be helpful if you try to:

  * Spend time with your child
  * Do things together
  * Accept that your child may be acting differently
  * Respect your child’s wishes and be sensitive to their emotional needs.

Dos and don’ts when you speak with your child
The most important message to get across to your child is that you do not blame them for the abuse.

Do:

  * Tell them you believe them
  * Reassure them
  * Tell them that you do not blame them
  * Tell them that you will try to keep them safe
  * Let them know that you love them
  * Let them know that you are glad that they told you
  * Give them time to talk at their own pace
  * Be open and clear
  * Allow your child to talk about how they feel
  * Try to be calm.

Don’t:

  * Blame your child for what happened
  * Suggest that it would have been better if they had not told anyone
  * Tell your child that you blame yourself
  * Tell your child to forget it ever happened
  * Tell your child not to talk about it
  * Get upset every time your child talks about the abuse.

Look after yourself
This is a very difficult time and you need to take care of yourself, so that you can cope and be there to help your child. It may help if you:

  * Talk to a counsellor or to other parents of children who have been sexually abused.
  * Look after your health.
  * Organise some time out for yourself.

Where to get help

  * Centres Against Sexual Assault
  * A protective worker involved with your family
  * Your local Department of Human Services office
  * Local groups for parents of children who have been sexually abused
  * Legal Aid offices
  * Your local community health centre

Things to remember

  * You have a vital role in helping your child recover from sexual abuse.
  * You are not responsible for the abuse. The abuser is the only person responsible.
  * This is an extremely difficult time, so seek help and look after your needs as well as your child’s needs.

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Source: Department of Human Services